Hey Friends, I’ve been busy working on my second novel which should be out Summer or Fall 2013. But I wanted to take a second to say: Hooray! The paperback of You Are Not Here is out NOW! And don’t forget about the ebook, too.
I’m relinking to one of my favorite posts–a photo essay about the real places that inspired You Are Not Here.
Also click here to listen to me reading a bit from the beginning of You Are Not Here.
-Sam
I am thrilled to announce the three winners of my National Poetry Month Contest. I got loads of submissions on all sorts of topics: relationships, self-injury, depression, anxiety, medication, self image, violence, racism, and more. But the common theme was hope…and that things get better.
Check out all the submissions here on my blog. And, of course, take a moment to read the three winning poems below.
The grand-prize winner is Anonymous, age 22 with “Fall.”
She’ll be getting a great prize pack of books including: It Gets Better by Dan Savage, I Don’t Want to Be Crazy and You Are Not Here by Samantha Schutz (signed by me!), It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini, Cut by Patricia McCormick, and Talking in the Dark by Billy Merrell.
Anonymous, age 22
Fall
I try to suppress the grin on my face
As I rush, alone, to my next class.
The campus is graceful in its nature
and colors and I’m alone, not
lonely, thanking the empty sky for
getting me to this place.
I’m in awe of the bag on my
shoulder, heavy with overpriced
books. Proud that my four successive
classes give me some place
acceptable to be.
I take notes and study and wear a genuinely
rehearsed contemplative look. I can’t understand
the groans around me at another assigned chapter
or announcement of an upcoming test.
This is it.
What I’ve been struggling to attain for four
excruciatingly long years.
To sit in a class and learn, to abandon my corner
of safety and pain and thoughts designed to
derail me at every haphazard venturing out.
I spent the better part of my first two adult
years screaming on a locked ward,
but the piercing shrieks have faded,
and I don’t think I have to be so afraid
anymore.
I don’t think they can control me anymore. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s the final batch of submissions. Check back Friday when the winners are announced! Who do you think should win?
Anu B., age 18
Maybe
Maybe I’m not who you want me to be,
But I’m me. Incorrigibly, irredeemably, painfully
Me.
Maybe I’m not where you want me to be.
Maybe my hair is too long for your liking,
Or too short for your delicate sensibilities.
Maybe my pants hang a little too low,
Or I hold my books a little too close.
Maybe my eyes are too sad for you,
Or my hips too wide,
My arms too long, my smile
Too blithe.
Maybe it’s just that I’m too tall, too short,
Too skinny, too fat, too strong, too smart,
Too loud, too quiet, too immersed in my thoughts.
Maybe.
Maybe I’m not everything you want me to be,
But I’m me. Incorrigibly, irredeemably, painfully
Me.
But, maybe it’s not me.
Maybe you’re too…too.
Maybe you’re heart isn’t big enough,
Maybe your heart only feels its own pain.
My heart will have to be big enough,
I will survive your incorrigible, irredeemable,
Painful Disdain.
Anonomyus, age 22
Fall
I try to suppress the grin on my face
As I rush, alone, to my next class.
The campus is graceful in its nature
and colors and I’m alone, not
lonely, thanking the empty sky for
getting me to this place.
I’m in awe of the bag on my
shoulder, heavy with overpriced
books. Proud that my four successive
classes give me some place
acceptable to be.
I take notes and study and wear a genuinely
rehearsed contemplative look. I can’t understand
the groans around me at another assigned chapter
or announcement of an upcoming test.
This is it.
What I’ve been struggling to attain for four
excruciatingly long years.
To sit in a class and learn, to abandon my corner
of safety and pain and thoughts designed to
derail me at every haphazard venturing out.
I spent the better part of my first two adult
years screaming on a locked ward,
but the piercing shrieks have faded,
and I don’t think I have to be so afraid
anymore.
I don’t think they can control me anymore.
Laura, age 22
Hidden vines are intertwined
Grapes turn into wine
Alcohol vapors rise
And sink my heart into abandonment.
It’s now numb.
Yet it bleeds happiness,
It pounds and echoes long, forgotten beats.
I’ve never felt more alive.
This can’t be erased
Nor forgotten.
Nothing can move me more.
Roots grow deeper and stronger
Leaves aren’t rusted anymore
Pure, green life has just revived
Insects no longer pierce the wood
Winds and storms make the tree stronger
Lightning doesn’t strike it,
Thunder doesn’t bruise it.
The aching, sharp thorn from my wrist
Is now soft and blunt.
It can’t hurt me anymore.
Looking back i smile at my disaster
And i embrace it with content.
The garden has finally blossomed
After a long, rough winter.
Allie Marie Birch, age 15
My Love Came From The Earth
One day I dug my fingertips into the soil of my secrets
Swept by the air, a moist feeling covered the atmosphere
A tear that escaped my heart found it’s way to the barren ground
One after another I let them flow
A pain that swelled deep within finally unveiled
Splitting my memories and tearing them apart
I can see they’re faces of lies
They’re mouth’s move with tales of sorrow
I can almost feel them still…
My hands dig deeper into the dampened Earth
Then a power possess me to scult my dreams
Forming from the dirt I created a man with pieces of myself
Containing everything to make me whole again
Soon I lost track of time and maybe my mind
But then he came to life
Hand in hand, we walked down the shore
Away from all my memories and into what I think, feels like home
I was always afraid to find love
But maybe it will be better this time
I can already see the sun
Isabelle, age 18
Solitude Unrest
Leaves turned to red…
Thoughts annihilate
’til the leaves were green.
Jordan Beasley, 18
Judgements
A homeless man holds a sign saying “I’ll be grateful for anything”.
Do you pass judgment on how he got there or help him find his wings?
A woman with five children comes out of an office labeled “WIC”.
Do you understand her struggle or say that she makes you sick?
An interracial couple walk together in a store.
Do you turn your nose up, or treat them like your couple next door?
A girl with many bruises sits alone with falling tears.
Will you walk right by her or help her with her fears?
Judgments…
A Caucasian female in the “ghetto” struggling to make ends meet.
Would you have ever guessed she spent all her life getting beat?
A female becomes a mother at an age you hate to see.
But I bet she’s the best mom that she knows how to be.
Two females walk hand in hand with a smile on their face.
They’re so in love, they don’t worry with the looks of disgrace
A teenage kid has scars and cuts up and down both of his arms.
Will you be the one who bullies him or stand up to take charge?
Judgments…
The society we live in can be twisted in more ways than one
But being a survivor of rape, abuse and depression I can tell you that I’ve won
If you’re going through it don’t be scared to speak your mind
Because you never know who’s listening, it will get better, you will find.
I didn’t take their judgments but I see them every day
So be the one to stand up and speak, not the one who got away.
Adelana, age 20
Silent SoulThere is nothing divine
in the stir of silence amidst this soul
Pain was left to heal
Scars suddenly trodden with relieve
A drop of Liquid per minute,
rows rumbled with columns
for this bucket is far from half-full
A jagged aura of Venus
hovering with a wondrous grin
farewell, there is no cause to worry,
like the quote of good demons
A world without worry
a world in a lone glory
This wonders of beauty
Growing and puddling with danger
in the mind of solitude
Despicable and deadly volt
safe and secured for it will never get out
A word that was left unspoken
is now a sword cutting through the downtrodden
Here are a few more posts for the Nat’l Poetry Month contest. Have you sent in your submission? You have until the end of the month. Click here for info about how to enter and PRIZES: http://samanthaschutz.net/site/?p=597
MAW, age 18
My hands shake
Violently
My body turns itself into a
Rocking chair
My legs
Bounce
I sit in this stall
Rocking
Shaking
Bouncing
I huddle over
My breasts brush against my thighs
And I rock
And I beg myself to breathe
And I beg myself to stop these tears
And I dare not make a sound
Not even a
Gasp
Because there’s this paranoia that if I do a
Gasp
Will turn into a
Whisper Read the rest of this entry »
Here are a few more posts for the Nat’l Poetry Month contest. Have you sent in your submission? You have until the end of the month. Click here for info about how to enter and PRIZES: http://samanthaschutz.net/site/?p=597
BPD in OKC, 29
I can’t sew
I’m lost,
but I know I still love you.
I may be dead inside,
but I’m still living for you.
I am broken,
but you don’t know you broke me.
My heart keeps bleeding,
but I can’t sew myself back together.
I see no hope,
but I am not giving up.
Times are tough,
but things can always get better.
Check it out. The first poems are coming in. What do you think?
Colleen Kennedy, age 15
The Unknown
Hey friends. I wanted to let you know about the It Gets Better project. It falls right in line with the goal of my blog YouMakeMeFeelLessAlone (a place where people can submit writing about mental illness or other things they are struggling with). Sparked by incidents of LGTB kids being bullied and committing suicide, Dan Savage (the well-known sex columnist) created the It Gets Better campaign of video diaries from LGTB and stright people who are speaking about how life gets better after those wretched teenage years. I am honored to know several people that have contributed videos. There is also an It Gets Better book available now! Check out the videos, the book, and the site. Maybe you’d even like to contribute a video. Go to: www.itgetsbetter.org
The sentiment of It Get Better doesn’t have to be limited to LGTB issues. To celebrate National Poetry Month and get the word out about It Gets Better and YouMakeMeFeelLessAlone, I am holding a POETRY CONTEST (rules/prizes are below). Contribute your writing to YMMFLA and give others hope that dealing with issues like mental illness, addiction, sexuality, and relationships GETS BETTER!
The first-place winner will receive a prize back that includes:
It Gets Better by Dan Savage
I Don’t Want to Be Crazy, by Samantha Schutz (me!): A poetry memoir about anxiety disorde
You Are Not Here, by Samantha Schutz: A poetry novel about grief and loss
It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini: A novel based on the author’s experiences while hospitalized for depression
Cut by Patricia McCormick: A novel about self-mutilation
Talking in the Dark by Billy Merrell: A poetry memoir about the author’s awakening sexuality, and his quest to find love and acceptance while discovering himself in the process.
Google is an amazing thing. I get these lovely alerts when people are talking about my books. Well, Google told me that Nicole, one of the people who won the YANH photo contest, posted a flickr album with all her outtakes. I was so impressed (and honored) that Nicole put so much time and effort into the contest that I asked if I could post the outtakes and some info about her process! Check it out… (Too see the captions Nicole wrote for these pictures, click here.)
Thanks to everyone who submitted photos to the contest. It was great seeing through your eyes. Here are the three winning images.
Image #2
Name: Heather Cole
Age: 19
Location: Tallapoosa, Georgia
What inspired this picture: I was inspired by Annaleah’s feelings of needing to stay awake, and wanting to seal her eyes shut because she couldn’t stop her crying.
What quote from You Are Not Here is associated with this image? ”My eyes are burning they want to seal shut. They want a break from crying.”
Image #3
Name: Amber McLain
Age: 18
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan.
What inspired this picture? I saw that the leaves were falling because they were dying, so I decided to include them in the picture. By saying “nothing grows here besides grass,” we are saying that even the living things here die, only the grass thriving.
What quote from You Are Not Here is associated with this image: ”Nothing grows here besides grass.”
